To avoid potential conflict, it may appear to be easier to go with the flow. However, allowing others to walk all over you can lead to increased tension and worry, as well as a decrease in your sense of self-worth and play into your fears.
Learning to advocate for yourself can empower you to take control of your life, believe in your own strength, and pursue your goals. The more powerful you feel, the more powerful you will become.
Learn to
stand up for yourself in any situation with these 10 easy yet powerful techniques.
1. Make an effort to be open and honest.
Although it may be challenging at times, learning to express oneself openly and honestly will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Instead of saying what we really believe, we often hide behind a half-hearted smile and a nod. It takes time and experience, but the first step is to learn to be honest and open about your feelings and thoughts. People will be more open to hearing you after you develop the habit of making yourself heard without being unduly accommodating or defensive.
2. Take little, but significant, steps.
If you're having trouble being assertive, start simply by standing up for yourself. Even learning to walk more confidently with your head held high and shoulders back will help you appear and feel more confident. When dealing with people, use that self-assurance. This mindset can be used to any aspect of your life. Feeling irritated because someone cut in front of you at Starbucks? Request that they take a seat at the back. Have you noticed an erroneous charge on your account from one of your service providers? Make a call to challenge it.
3. If someone attacks, wait for them to go.
You'll have to learn to deal with individuals who try to overrule you as your confidence in expressing yourself grows. There will always be people with personalities that are pre-programmed to attack. If you believe someone is trying to bully you, it's critical that you remain calm but assertive. Allowing yourself to become flustered or reacting with low blows is not a good idea. Don't give in to their demands or enable them to browbeat you. Take the high road, but don't back down.
4. Figure out what's troubling you the most.
Going with the flow in order to avoid causing waves really causes you greater tension and worry. Naturally, summoning the guts to confront something or someone who is upsetting you might be frightening. However, confronting the problem will empower you to improve it and reduce the influence it has over you. People can't read your mind, therefore if you don't say what's on your mind, no one will know.
5. Clarify first, without attacking.
It's easy to assume a self-righteous stance, especially if you're certain you're correct. From your perspective, you are rightfully protecting yourself against someone who appears to be completely wrong. However, it's critical to avoid the desire to react emotionally. Instead, take a deep breath and communicate your point of view to them politely. Avoid using confrontational or accusing language. Clarify your meaning and pay attention to their response. Then and only then can a genuine debate begin.
6. As they say, practice makes perfect.
It's time to practice asking for what you want as often as possible once you've gotten the hang of what it takes to stand up for yourself. Say something if someone says anything you openly disagree with or if you feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. According to research, it takes 66 days to create a new habit, so commit to the new assertiveness for two months and see what happens.
7. Take your time.
Many of us have been in this situation: sharing space with a slobby coworker or roommate. You may have remained silent as your frustration with the situation grew. It's easy to fall into passive-aggressive conduct, such as cleaning up the mess angrily or making snarky remarks. Instead, try being deliberate. Without being accusing, express your feelings to the person. Be open and honest about your concerns. Follow up with a simple recommendation to improve the situation, such as "It would be a tremendous help if you could take a minute to tidy up your space at night."
8. Take a stand for the sake of your time.
Even though time is a valuable and finite resource, we frequently feel compelled to give it away when we have the ability to say no. You may not have a choice in some situations, such as when your employer declares a project to be of high priority. But don't allow your duties to define how you spend your time. You have complete control over your schedule. When it's appropriate, push back or politely disengage from people or situations that take up too much of your time.
9. Recognize that no one has the authority to invalidate you.
You have complete control over your emotions and behaviors. Your feelings, emotions, thoughts, and ideas are yours alone, and no one else has the authority to tell you how you feel or invalidate your beliefs. Similarly, if you try to disprove other people's points of view, you're undermining any opportunity of addressing a problem or having an open dialogue.
10. Don't be what you're not until you're what you're not.
It takes time to develop the ability to advocate for yourself. It takes time to become confident in your assertiveness. It may be helpful to visualize yourself as an actor learning a new role when you are in the learning stage.
Consider yourself to be the most forceful person you know. What would they do if they were faced with a difficult situation? You might go from being extremely zealous to being
overly indecisive at times. Learning to stand up for yourself is similar to learning to ride a
bike: you will eventually find the perfect balance.
